My trip to Scotland turned out to be a major traveling adventure. I took a flight from Little Rock to Chicago. It was AWESOME seeing all the sailboats on Lake Michigan from the air. As of that point in time Chicago was the biggest city I have ever been to. Needless to say, THAT airport was an experience. From Chicago I flew to Manchester, England. Let me tell you...Customs people in England = total douchebags. If they could ask me a question they did. I seriously thought they were not going to let me in after 14 hours of travel. GRRRR. However, the British douchebag relented and allowed me into England.
OK, so the first thing I noticed was this...You have to be FREAKING CAREFUL crossing the road. :( Then you have to drag 9,000 lbs of luggage to a bus terminal...with a sprained back I might add. Then you have to squeeze onto said bus with people who smell like the various flavors of the world. You ride around and look really stupid when the bus driver stops and asks where you need to go. "The train station," I said nice and clear. He looked at me like I was daft and said, "Uhhh this is it love." How the hell do you know? It didn't SAY TRAIN STATION nor could see SEE a train. I digress.
I carefully dragged around the 9,000 lbs of luggage to the "Self Service" ticket machine. The machine then proceeded to tell me I was a stupid American and to go to the ticket counter. I looked at a very nice man who could not figure out why there was blue ink all over his hands and asked for some help. As he kept twiddling his hands around and looking for the blue ink fairy, he politely told me I had to have the credit card the reservation was booked with to get my ticket....Which would be fine except my MAN booked it for me with HIS credit card.
However, the blue man group fingered ticket person was nice enough to print out my ticket for me and send me on my merry way. Dude, you rocked. Thank you for not looking at me like I was stupid. You were my favorite person in Britian!
Then I proceed to go down to the trains! I had a NURRRR moment and whipped out the camera and started chronicling my trip.
Pink and Blue trains.... OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK...
More Pink and Blue trains. I'd never been on a train before. I live in Arkansas. When people say "Public Transportation" we say "
??????"
Heh! Luggage trolleys!
THAT is NOT 9 3/4 dang it!
Do you see that? 8:54 am GMT. You know what that means? 2:54 AM Arkansas time. At this point I had been awake for 19 hours! (For those Harry Potter fans...there was nothing that even resembled Platform 9 3/4. Very sad.)
At this point my chronicling of the train station was stopped by a very nice British woman who reminded me that I was still technically in the airport and I had to stop taking photos. Strike #2 for big dumb American. GO ME!
Eventually, my nice train, that was rebooked by my nice blue fingered ticket guy showed up and I hopped on. A train ride into Scotland. How awesome could that be? I was going to get to see England and a fair chunk of Scotland through the countryside. I was going to have to sit next to some stranger with 9,000 lbs of luggage and a back that was starting to scream in agony. I was tired and getting grumpy, but hey it was only 4 hours to Edinburgh! I could do it!
I was excited to find a seat next to a nice British girl who was on her way home from Switzerland. Turns out she is a translator there at a bank, and was coming home for a quick holiday. We had a few nice chats and talked about the countryside. I hate to break it to you Brits, but Manchester up to Northern England...looks...like...ARKANSAS. The trees are different and the wildflowers are different, but if you stick cows in the fields instead of sheep...I'm home!
I digress. I sit and chat with the young woman next to me until she left the train and anxiously ticked off the little towns and villages on my way by. I had to switch trains at Haymarket in Scotland to get to Falkirk High. YUP! That is what my ticket said. So I hop off at Haymarket and instantly get pissed off. Seriously pissed off. There are no handicap RAMPS there. I have 9,000 lbs of luggage and my train boards ON THE OTHER SIDE. I had to carry 9,000 lbs of luggage up 2 flights of stairs and down 2 flights of stairs to get to the other side. NONSENSE I tell you! HELLO Scotland people...RAMPS?! DUUUUUUUUUUUR.
Then, I missed my train. Now, you would think that a train would be easy to catch. I'm going to Falkirk right? The train says FALKIRK right? Wrong. It says Edinburgh. Luckily there was another one 20 minutes later so the conductor could tell the dumb, sleep deprived, cranky American to get on it. I was home free at that point. In 40 minutes I would get to see my man and meet his mom for the first time. I would take my first cab ride and then get a nice long shower. Right?
Wrong...
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